Help Aging Parents–Post Written, but Vanished–Caregiver Stress?

What a surprise to awaken this morning and find yesterday’s I-thought-published post missing—gone, nowhere to be found. Help! Aging Parents’ goal is to share the best information and some creative ideas to help the elders we care about age as well as possible. With my husband’s recent heart valve surgery, I’ve been more focused on helpful caregiving ideas and yesterday decided to offer some personal reflections. For the first time in the history of this blog, they vanished.

I had written about stress–our cancelled plans to fly this past Tuesday to warm weather and sign the closing papers for the sale of my husband’s mother’s home. Doctors gave the necessary permission two weeks ago, following my husband’s heart valve surgery in February. But all changed at the end of last week when the new mitral valve developed a hole. (That’s my layperson’s term. I’m a counselor, not a medical professional. Medical information is only available by clicking links–usually from highly respected sources like Mayo Clinic and often in Newsworthy.)

My husband was immediately hospitalized. The delicate balance of best available options as we age needed careful thought.  In this case the blood thinner that’s given for 3 months to ensure the new heart valves (he has cow’s valves) won’t get clots–presented a challenge  A procedure to plug the hole took place Wednesday and was successful, but an unintended consequence occurred after the procedure. So the hospital routine and resulting stress continues…!

My mil’s (Sr. Advisor R’s) home was sold. The closing was this past Friday–2,000 miles away.  Since his mother died, the home became my husband’s. We planned to be there for the closing–obviously couldn’t. Thus, I needed to sign the many legal papers and that required an original POA (power of attorney) document which the NY law office held for safe-keeping. (We had copies–not accepted for this sales transaction, That requirement may vary by state). We had also purposely left certain items in the home to be taken out before the closing. Friends and family were invaluable in helping this effort, but I also needed to organize this last minute activity.

A lot of juggling, a lot of time involved, a lot of emotion and stress this week…which I thought was under control until my post–supposedly published last night–disappeared. I’m thinking we probably live with the illusion of control–and that is a good thing.

Will post again as time permits




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