My parents were the young-old type. Their insecurities weren’t apparent until they were well into their 80’s. Mother remarked she didn’t realize she was old until she was 85. My m-i-l, Sr. Advisor R, said she didn’t feel old until she fell and broke her hip (femur) at age 97. However, when she began using a cane to go out after her successful surgery, she commented that she didn’t like using the cane when she went out because people saw it and thought of her as “old.”
Regardless of feelings and specific age, even boomers (and of course old people) develop insecurities they neither had nor thought about while younger. At a certain age many make efforts to cover up insecurities so as not to seem “old.”
Two years ago I wrote a post about Sr. Advisor R’s telling me she didn’t want to be rushed. It was a must for her to be on time. Indeed she often called, before I came to pick her up, to check that I’d be there on time. I understood and respected this, but couldn’t help thinking about my working years when I’d make a plan with colleagues far into the future–having complete faith that we’d be at the appointed place at the appointed time–never giving a thought to the fact that I should double-check at some point. No insecurity and never a problem.
Exactly the opposite, yet based on aging-type insecurities, is the once-organized older parent who no longer plans enough time and often isn’t ready. Why? In some cases, because of extra time spent due to insecurities about what to wear, looking good enough, possibly forgetting something and/or not moving (physically) as quickly as before. (Of course constant forgetting is an issue that should be discussed with a parent’s doctor.)
We may be unaware of our parents’ insecurities if they cleverly cover them up. Why do they do this?
The internet access is out in our apartment and the surrounding area, so I’ve taken advantage of the Apple Store (which is somewhat near)–but my time is up here and I must go. Back tomorrow from here or from home……