A phone call from a friend who once baby-sat my husband brings an invitation to the family Seder Monday night, and included a special invitation for my m-i-law, Sr. Advisor R, who will be 100 in September.
R knew his parents, who passed away many year ago, and through the years James has kept in touch, selectively inviting her to things he thinks she would appreciate.
Several years ago R decided not to attend anything she wasn’t required to attend if it involved lots of people. It was too tiring, she said, even though she had developed a defensive technique for just such events. (She would find a comfortable chair a bit out of harm’s way and people could come over to her–or not. She felt if they cared, they’d come; and they did.)
We needed to ask R before accepting the Seder invite and were unsure whether she’d consider attending anything where there was “a mob.” I made the phone call. To my surprise R said “yes” she’d like to go because of James, who “was always thoughtful” and R had to turn down several of his pervious invitations.
If I report we were the last of the 50+ guests to leave the Seder, it’s true, but I’m getting ahead of myself. The value of intergenerational gatherings and connections in helping older people age well was apparent. I will share this tomorrow.
Until tomorrow evening,