I don’t know why I thought moving was a one-day undertaking. At minimum it takes one day to pack and one day for the mover to move what we’ve packet (or had someone pack for us). And countless days beforehand are spent in preparation.
As we experience this process I’m trying to look at it with two perspectives….
…. 1. ours. 2. that of an older person–unable to lift, walk back and forth a million times to move things to a place where they can easily be transported elsewhere–an older person perhaps with diminished eyesight and/or hearing.
There’s also the energy factor, mentioned in a previous post. I don’t tire quickly; many older people would. Indeed some nights I feel like I’m pulling all-nighters like I did in college. It’s rather like peeling layers of an onion. First the obvious, the macro: getting rid of unwanted stuff. And ultimately the fine tuning which may involve getting rid of wanted stuff that there’s no room for and/or has emotion tied to it.
Of course our move is planned, wanted, and exciting. Each day at least one person questions whether or not we’re sad to leave. I never like to answer honestly and say “no.” I guess that’s the counselor part of me not wanting to say anything that could make someone feel he or she is not that important to our relationship. But I feel wonderful adventures are ahead and I’m looking forward.
Aging parents may not have this feeling and clearly won’t if the move has been forced upon them….usually due to some failing body part or overanxious children. It must be difficult to look forward under circumstances that are out of their control.
Since I’m right in the middle of this move, I probably can’t completely, objectively process the situation and better understand my feelings until I’m a bit more removed–time-wise. But any way you look at it, it’s a strenuous undertaking requiring much thinking and prioritizing in addition to the physical part.
Understanding as much about what parents must go through–in this case what a move really involves–adds another dimension as we try to help parents age well.
Check out “Newsworthy” (right sidebar). Links to timely information and research from top universities and respected professionals, plus practical information–to help parents age well.